July 31, 2002

Rachel's Soul

Journal Entry for July 31, 2002

July 31, 2002 ~ We were at a GLBT picnic the other night for my church. Now only two people there outside of my wife are aware of Rachel, but that was o.k. and even preferred at this stage of my life. Our purpose in being there was to show support to the gays and lesbians in our church family.

The TG is an anomaly in these settings because they are usually disguised as supporters of others. It is hard not to speak up when issues are raised as if you have first hand knowledge about 'their' plight. I have to walk a fine line when it comes to interjecting comments of support and affirmation, so as to be seen as sympathetic and not empathetic. Pushing the line makes it uncomfortable for my wife, and to be honest, myself.

Our church affiliation is with the United Church of Christ, or U.C.C. There is a very active GLBT coalition within the church family at the national level and also in some local churches (http://www.ucccoalition.org/). They recently held a national gathering in Seattle and we visited with a member who attended.

She spoke with pride about the attendance and work that was done and then gave us a quick review of the coalition. Thinking we were there with no real understanding, it was a kind gesture. I made a comment that I also was aware that the TG community was represented by this group and added that I felt they, TG's, were truly a fringe group that needed our support and love. This made my wife a little uncomfortable. Our church friend somewhat agreed and then added that the group she felt was most misunderstood was bi-sexual.

Although this should be a safe place to be, it is far from it. TG's remain so closeted that it is hard for us to engage in meaning conversation and education out of fear. In my relationships with gay friends, they are as ignorant about TG's as anyone. Of course this is a generality, but I continue to find this to be the case.

I wish that I could have spoken up and said, I know these things of which I speak are true, because I am transgendered. But I fear rejection from the 90% of the church who would be anything less than accepting, let alone supportive. Yet if estimates are correct that as many as 10% of the male population has at least some TG characteristics, then there are as many as 100 possible members in the pews who are empathetic to the plight.

Rachel Anderson